Random night thoughts

 Hello. I just thought of posting a blog post. I don't care if nobody in the other side of the world reads this. 

Tomorrow, I will be on a straight 40 hour duty in a provincial hospital in the south. Like, yes. I have to serve 1 year deployment since I graduated from a government hospital. 

I recalled the homily 2 sundays ago. It is about God's purpose. I suddenly remember this blog. I started this when I was hesitant to proceed to medicine and it came out randomly in my head that I should pursue medicine. This might be God's ultimate purpose for me. 🥰 I saved several patients in my 4 years of medical practice and changed some of their lives. 

Tomorrow will be a beautiful way to save life. I would like to thank God for making my hands as his instrument of healing. 

Good night everyone. I hope at some other point, I will think of posting again. Blogger.com, please stay alive. 

Soaring Alison Blue after 16 years

 I guess I have to do my blog post every 2 years? Well I attempted to open my blog months ago with a thought that this is non-existent already.

I love to open this blog as this depicts my story. This is already 16 years old. This masterpiece started with the era of friendster, mp3s, multiply.com and tumblr.com. The new generation right now might not relate to this but I am hoping that blogger.com will remain in order to share this to my children. (If God permits to do so). I was Alison Blue before who had lots of textmates using my keypad phone. Now, I am Franz Lawas who is now a licensed physician plus an internist (Adult Medicine Specialist). I just graduated on my residency training program from a government hospital last year. Gladly, I passed the Phillippine Society Board of Internal Medicine Examination last March 2024 and a newly inducted Diplomate in Internal Medicine by Philippine College of Physicians. Yes, a high school student from Minglanilla National Science High School made it this far. 

I was also given a chance to present my residency research paper at Seoul, South Korea last June 13-16 entitled Assessment in the Quality of Life of Hemodialysis Patients in a Government Renal Center during ongoing COVID19 Pandemic last 2023. It was such a dream come true. I was fanatic to Kdramas since then and fate brought me to South Korea. 

Yes, I hope those who are still following my blog (If there is any) will be happy. I am aiming for more blessings to come. I pray that blogger.com will stay alive. For sure my future self will come to realize: Wait, I have to post a blog. 

Euphoria Part 1- Fly High my Dear Sugar

 It is indeed the first time that I skipped one year in doing blog post. Today is Good Friday and I just had a half day duty from 8am to 12 noon. I am currently a 2nd year resident in a government hospital. 

In case you don't know me, you can call me Franz, Sugar or Alison (my eponym since high school). I made this blog just to express myself around 2008. It is so delightful to backread all my entries since it is a view of my growth- from being a petty high school student who expresses her feelings for her crush to a nerd medtech college student with invulnerable dreams to a medical student who faces the adversities in life. I am now a licensed physician who passed the Physician Licensure Examination last November 2020. 

If you are one of the few who follows this page. My present may be ironic on this post-https://alisonblue14.blogspot.com/2009/05/weee-ayoooooooooo.html. Guys, I am now a licensed doctor. I am currently a resident physician in Internal Medicine in a government hospital. I lead codes. I declare deaths. I appraise patients. Most of all, I save lives- the primary objective when I go to duty. I never see that in my 16 year old self. 

Any updates about me? Well during the start of my residency, I was infested with COVID19. I tried not being able to taste and smell. Good thing is that it was just mild. I was quarantined in my own home but sadly I was isolated away from the community and being judged by others who did not understand. But still after that, it did not stop me. I managed patients with COVID19. I myself is so proud of what I have done. 

Before, I may dreamed of achievement and on limelight. Now I will be almost in my 30s. I may now be fulfilled of what I am doing right now.  I made my family so proud and also touched lives by being an instrument of God's love. That is why I am currently training as an internist to enhance my skills and clinical eye and to sharpen my God's gift to me- my healing hand. 

I may not be a great writer now as before. But I would like to be remembered not as Alison Blue who has lots of textmates, but a Doctor who touches others' lives. That is how I fly high right now. 

to be continued

                                               

TUOB to be true (My VCMC PGI Experience)

June 26, 2020- Today is supposed to be our graduation day. We are supposed to walk with our white long coats. However, COVID19 pandemic is ongoing.

Post-Graduate Internship (PGI) is the last phase of being a full-fledged physician. Aside from graduating medschool, you have to satisfactorily complete this to take the Physicians Licensure Examination (PLE). The rest of the qualifications are stated in Philippine Medical Act of 1959.

Around the last quarter of 2018, I was in the verge of combustible maze of Senior Clerkship. Suddenly, Association of Philippine Medical Colleges (APMC) announced that it was the matching season of PGIship.  Internship matching is the process by which post-graduate interns (PGIS) are assigned to certain hospital (of their choice) for the duration of their post-graduate internship. APMC facilitates the said matching. Okay, I was overwhelmed by the flames of clerkship so my mental state (with thoughts of quitting) was not in the mood of choosing a hospital of choice. So I just heard some of my friends that were saying "Sa VCMC ta magPGI kay nindot didto". I was not yet rotated in Visayas Community Medical Center (VCMC) at that time. Our clinical clerkship program in Cebu Institute of Medicine (CIM) included VCMC as an affiliation for Internal Medicine (IM) rotation and IM was part of the last quarter of my rotation. To make the long story short, I included VCMC as my hospital of choice and I was matched on a Valentine's Day of 2019. I was thinking of unmatching VCMC since I was quite unsure and I haven't rotated there yet. I decided to switch to my clerkship hospital base. And I suddenly thought, what if I will judge my VCMC experience first? It may be my last hospital rotation but will still have time. Oh well, on the last 2 weeks of March 2018, I was rotated in IM VCMC. Oh wow, even the guards are were so sweet. They greeted me with a sweet smile even during my previous status. The nurses were so kind even to clerks. The IM residents were treated us as colleagues. And I made my final decision, to stick to VCMC.

Fast forward, I graduated medicine last June 25, 2019 then had the first day of training last July 1, 2019. Then I met a new set of groupmates. We were rotated first in Obstetrics and Gynecology. It was quite challenging rotation with nerve wrecking and mind boggling endorsements as well as paperworks together with labor watch, deliveries and OR assists.  Sadly 2 of our groupmates fled with the wind and only six of us left- me, Arianna, April, Carmel, One and Ram.Let us not forget the sliding schedule AMEN. Sadly, I wasn't able to join our acquaintance party since I had pneumonia (Disclaimer: That was not COVID19)

Mondays with *fill in the blank*

                             




Then our next rotation was Internal Medicine. As always, I was bombarded with Emergency Room admissions with matching code with my flesh heels on. We already knew that fish was like a punishment when we were late in the Dietary. (Wait fish is yummy but the bones are way too hassle.) Christiana's sari-sari store with chips, essential needs, candies and of course chocoballs and munchkins were fad. And yes, we were always the last in the Emergency room. While the other PGIs were sleeping in the callroom, me and One2 were like okay, we were the ones left again.
Then the highlight during October was our Halloween Party. Departments of Surgery, Family Medicine, Pediatrics, OB-GYNE, IM competed on respective sophisticated presentations. It took us around several weeks to practice with Ari as our dedicated choreographer. It was indeed fun experience with matching crawling steps with our beloved and ever hardworking MHAM Interns- Ryan, Shads, Glady, Neil, Pat and Jerlan. Together with the IM residents, we danced despite of the rain (and thunder). Though we didn't garner a place, it was still a great and fulfilling experience.

There came our four months of Family Medicine rotation. On the first month (FAMED IN), We acted like residents. We sent updates to our consultants and were trained how to make doctor's orders. We met our lovely Junior Consultants- Dr. Cyril, Dr. Sanchez and Dr. Canas. We also became closer to the OPD nurses. Aside from that, we had fund raising activities like rummage sale and Star Wars block screening. We also witnessed the resident's graduation and also had a great Christmas Party.

On our 2nd half which was FAMED OUT, we rotated on different electives. First I was rotated in JPark for occupational medicine. I didn't had any partner and I missed my groupmates. There was even a time I almost got lost when I commuted to JPark. I was like the Dora the Explorer of Marigondon. Good thing Dr. Arcibal, the hotel physician did not made me felt left out. I met the wonderful hotel nurses- Miss Bon, Miss Blanche, Sir Sam, Mam Danica and Sir Gian. Wait, I performed IV insertions and isolated two foreigners which were rarely done by previous PGIs. I also encountered a Korean kid with seizure.

However weekend after my JPark rotation, there came the news of the first Person Under Investigation (PUI) in Cebu for Novel Corona Virus Disease (Later became COVID19).

Then the next rotation was Radiology with the ever sweet Mam Amie and we practiced reading XRay Films. Ari was already my partner that time.

Then we had our Sinulog Celebration and VCMC was the part of the Cebu City's medical team.

                                 

 Then I went back to Vicente Sotto Memorial Medical Center (VSMMC) for my Psychiatry rotation and it was like Lord, kadaghan nakong kaila anywhere. I was tasked to take care of referrals from the main hospital and assisted Psychia residents in OPD. We also had our Valentine's Day celebration with Harana 2020 and VCMC Valentines couple (as well as for our fund raising activity). There was also a time that we helped One to distribute the flowers and did harana to the doctor's offices.

Above all, as endorsed by previous PGIs, your VCMC PGIship will not be complete without knowing the life story of Dr. Simplicio Guinocor. We assisted him during our EENT rotation. He is one of the CIM alumni with a true persona of Physician With A Heart. Aside from clinic based ENT and Ophtha discussions, he taught us life lessons with matching coffee and banana.

Lastly, we ended our FAMED rotation with family case on a 17 year old boy with Infective Endocarditis. Several weeks prior, we went to a house visit in Minglanilla and that was indeed fun.

We had our Surgery rotation back then with matching food during Pre Op and Post Op Conference. We also had high yield endorsements by the surgical residents and Dr. Rallon. We had operating room assists. Me and Ari prepared for our scheduled CME Lecture about Tokyo Guidelines. However, in the afternoon of March 12, 2020, while I was nervous for the CME Lecture the next day, Dr. Sabio informed me that the CME Lecture will not push through due to COVID 19. Prior to that day, WHO announced COVID19 as a pandemic. On the following days, interns were pulled out. On my last duty on March 15, we were on skeletal duty with Ram as my partner. I had a series of OR assists without knowing that might be my last OR assist in my entire medical career. (I am not planning for cutting specialty). I was on a previous duty on March 16 then on March 17, PGIs as mandated by APMC were pulled-out.

Three months may have passed but I still left my heart in VCMC. That was a bittersweet goodbye. I still thought of my residents, nurses and staff of VCMC regarding their safety. Still, thank you so much VCMC for molding me to become a great physician someday. I wish I will be a consultant in this hospital in the future. I have no regrets in choosing VCMC. I still endorse to my juniors to have their PGIship in that hospital. For our my groupmates, Team Issues, thank you so much for choosing to be with us together. It was great working with you. I consider you as a family in this journey. To batch Operon, thank you so much for letting me know most of you and for establishing friendship. Our batch is unique that we are experiencing this pandemic. Still congratulations to all of us.

To our cheerful and respectful security guards,
To our diligent and generous dietary and canteen staff,
To our assistive and accomodating radiology and laboratory workers,
To our funny and easygoing transport personnel,
To our polite and hardworking nurses,
To our thoughtful and brilliant residents,
To our inspiring and teaching consultants,
To our progressive and considerate administration,
To our patient and sweet CME secretary,
And
To our loving and for a lack of a better word, amazing CME Director,

We are all grateful to be part of the family that is VCMC. Our PGIship was no doubt very fulfilling and memorable because of the strongest and most valuable tangible asset the hospital has..its human resources. So on our supposed graduation day, we wanted to make sure that COVID-19 wouldn't be able to stop us from showing our appreciation. So thank you everyone for the PGI experience that was (no pun intended) tu-ob to be true. We love you VCMC! 


July 11, 2020We had our virtual graduation. It was a bit emotional when I saw the graduation pics of the whole batch Operon. Without the pandemic, we're supposed to be together and we'll definitely take a batch picture in front of the chapel with our white long coats. Anyway, I never thought that I will garner awards in this said graduation day- most especially the Best PGI Group in Internal Medicine

VCMC engraved my heart since junior clerkship. This institution molded me to be a physician with a heart.

To the residents and junior consultants, I am sorry if I may made yourselves busy since pancit canton and spaghetti are my favorite dishes. Thank you so much for all the learnings you imparted to me.

To Doc Eribal, our CME Director, thank you for accepting me with open arms and for believing in us.

To my groupmates, thank you so much for accompanying me in this journey. You are one of the best.

To Batch Operon, my lovely colleagues, thank you so much for everything.

To entire staff of VCMC, thank you for giving me the sweetest environment.

To my mommy, ate and my dad in heaven, I hope I made you all proud.

VCMC, someday my wings will be established, I will go back to you with gratitude.

To the Filipino people, especially my fellow Cebuanos, I will serve you with all of my heart and soul as a doctor.

To God up above, thank you for planning this journey.

Your "strong independent woman",

PGI Lawas

I learned a lot in VCMC (repeat one million times)

NOTE: Why tuob?
Tuob or steam inhalation was controversial nowadays in the political and medical world as well as in social media. We do not endorse it as a treatment or prevention of COVID19. 

Living my Life like 2006 to 2010

Last week, I wasted most of my time in social media. I knew that this isn't ideal since it is less than a hundred away to the most anticipated, physician licensure examination. Yes, PLE- I am now a step away to be a legit doctor. Postgraduate internship is almost ending. Without the COVID19 pandemic, I'll be a Pedia PGI today and I might not go back to this blog as of this moment then.

What was I looking for in the social media? In this pandemic, the world stopped. Gone were the days when we go out freely all we want. Gone were the days when we go to the malls do some leisure activities outside when we get bored and stay late at night if we want. Gone were the days when we choose the right shade of the lipstick we want. Gone were the days when we go to the groceries without any schedule. Gone were the days when we hear mass in the church physically. Yes, COVID is everywhere. If we are doing our usual social routines, we might be submitted to the death sentence.

You might consider someone asymptomatic to be lucky. However he or she might transmit the virus to others. That's why I engaged in social media because yes, I am missing my friends. I want to know how they are coping things right now. I would also want to reminisce the pre-COVID19 times as well. Oh, so cheesy. I also want to gather some updates about what is happening in the province, country and the whole world right now. COVID19 has no cure yet. I am still yearning for miracles.

I met my expectations. However, it seems like everything goes wrong. Instead of the needed informations I wanted, the things surrounding my news feed seemed to be harmful to my self especially my mental health. I read some fake news. What is hype recently is the fight between politicians and health care workers. Yes, there is. I hope it will just end in the social media rants. I tried logging out my facebook account. However it was unsuccesful. My colleagues were even fighting in facebook messenger account. I can't let go of my messenger account since it is where I mostly reach out to my friends and loved ones. SMS messaging is not a hype anymore. Well my only "textmate" is my boyfriend. He doesn't have any facebook account (He is one of the less than 5% of the people in this world). Without him, why would I spend for load? SMS was useful for my residents and consultants but I am not in the frontline right now. There were concepts by my own colleagues that were against my principle but I urged myself not to fight and just keep quiet. I don't to torture my mental health and that might be not ideal in my review. Social media is toxic nowadays.

Then I thought of the good times back then. I am one of the millenials. However, my generation witnessed the transition of technology especially internet. We tried playing outdoors in our childhood like patintero, tumbang preso and tagu-taguan in our childhood. I grew up seeing my parents using newspapers and television as their mode of media. We watched local primetime shows back then. Then when I was a Grade 5 student, my sister oriented me about internet in an internet cafe at Ayala Center Cebu. I still remember that the cost was around 50 pesos per hour that time. She made my very first email address which is not existing right now. Those were so simple. I was already delighted to use the search engine in yahoo or google.  Hindi pa uso ang chat. I look forward in receiving emails. The "Daemon.com" thing I received after emailing a wrong email address gave me anxiety way back then.

Then there goes high school wherein our hype was going to internet cafes to make projects and we learned friendster. Receiving testimonials were hype with sparkling GIFs. We were also competing towards the best friendster profile with matching background music. I also made some multiply account for my photo albums. This blogger is the only one left for those times. Yes, we can access them at internet cafe at such limited time. I also joined in Symbianize forums to connect to various people in the country.  It was during my 2nd year high school that I had a personal computer at home with broadband access. However, unlike today's convenience, I still have to switch on my PC. I will not be online in school. My phone was purely for SMS.  I still remember that there was H1N1 epidemic. I only sought information via television or newspapers.

To make the long story short, there was evolution of smart phones that connect via WIFI. Facebook was born  which started with Pet Society and Friends for Sale. Friendster, Symbianize and Multiply were gone. Right now social media is the main platform for communication.

Those were good times. Since I am preparing for my ticket towards my license, for the love of my mental health and myself.  I decide to live as if it is 2006 to 2010. I shorten my contact time in social media. I even installed an application called AppBlock that blocks websites and applications against productivity if I am tempted to open. Settings are my own preference of course. Right now,  I stick to the television or just few of the reliable news websites (not linked from facebook) to keep me updated.

Yes, social media is convenient. However, abusing its convenience makes it toxic. What is important is to think before you click. Lawsuits could be a one type and click away. Aside from avoiding lawsuits, you prevent to hurt others' feeling as well. It might spread and kill as COVID19.

The Blogger's Return on a Pandemic

Gone are the times when hitting a passing mark is our goal, when seeking a crush's attention flutter our hearts and the delight of updating a blog post day by day. 

Here I am again. My grammar and writing skills might somehow rusted away but it is still my delight to post. Currently, I am an unlicensed doctor. I am a postgraduate intern (PGI)  in a private hospital here in Cebu. I am preparing the most important board examination in my life. Why am I not on duty then? The world stopped right now due to COVID19, an invisible enemy that can be deadly. All PGIs have been pulled out since March 17. We haven't sworn our oath yet and this might be the last year that we are considered as students. 

I graduated last June 2019 earning a Doctor of Medicine degree. Internship, as I've said was a roller coaster ride. I laughed, screamed and cried before being capped as a doctor. I will then be a legit doctor by the time I pass the PLE and to be endowed with selfless responsibilities. 

In 27 years of my existence, I learned a lot. I knew more of myself even more every single day. 

I hope this blog will remain alive and I will post more of myself as I can. For those who are readling this, thank you so much. 

Hello 2019- The Catch-up of a Blogger Intern

Hello, I am back. I am introducing myself again. I am  Alison Blue. If you want to know my real name, just communicate with me or refer to my previous posts. I am currently a 4th year medical student or a Senior Clerk from the Philippines' top medical school. If you noticed, my previous post was still a year ago. I may barely post updates unlike during my high school days. I am still delighted to read my previous blog posts. It made me picture out my progress and the way I grow.

It is already 2019 and oh, this year must be special. This is my graduation year. Please pray that I will catch-up all my paperworks and I will not have so many extensions and I will be cleared immediately.

Internship is not really that easy for me. Thanks to internship that I knew well about myself. Yes, it is a straight 365 days with no day off. There are even 36 hours duty and duty-previous duty. At first, it was really unusual that I am away from my mother. I spend most my time taking care of other people who are not even my relatives. There are even times that I think why I am entering this. Do I really need to be a doctor? Do I really deserve this? These things would pop out in my mind most of the time I'm grilled during endorsement or being scolded by my seniors. Even my relationship with my groupmates was being challenged. I am totally different and I get easily hurt. I even had countless anxiety attacks during the course of my duty. I even had absences which I didn't even regret. Thank God for giving me strength. I even thought of giving up. I even thought of not enrolling during 2nd semester. Thank God I am still in front of my patients greeting them "Good Morning!", "Kumusta na man mo? (How are you?)" with beautiful smile.

I learned a lot during the first half of my internship. Aside from surgical techniques, in dealing with pediatric patients, in managing dengue, in making genograms, in handling deliveries with episiotomy and repair, in doing VATEF (visual acuity, adnexa, tonometry, extraocular muscles and fundoscopy, I learned more about myself. Even my faith in God was being challenged. I learned that despite all the challenges I faced, God never left me. Even though I was angry to God for the thought He left me, He made all those things for me to be strong. He made me show that I am meant for this profession. Thanks to my mother for her endless patience, who is always at my side. Thanks to my friends whom I shouted on on my darkest days. Thanks even to the residents who told me, "You are strong! You can do it. You are almost there."

I am currently assigned in VSMMC Center for Behavioral Sciences for Psychiatry. I am thankful that I didn't end up being like my patients. Just kidding. Anyway, I am thankful that I am being able to touch the lives of my patients. I understand how they feel. In short, I can imagine if I am in their shoes. It is really my pleasure seeing them smiling with all my greetings despite of being ill.

Well this is my post for now. Thank you so much for reading.