Hello 2019- The Catch-up of a Blogger Intern

Hello, I am back. I am introducing myself again. I am  Alison Blue. If you want to know my real name, just communicate with me or refer to my previous posts. I am currently a 4th year medical student or a Senior Clerk from the Philippines' top medical school. If you noticed, my previous post was still a year ago. I may barely post updates unlike during my high school days. I am still delighted to read my previous blog posts. It made me picture out my progress and the way I grow.

It is already 2019 and oh, this year must be special. This is my graduation year. Please pray that I will catch-up all my paperworks and I will not have so many extensions and I will be cleared immediately.

Internship is not really that easy for me. Thanks to internship that I knew well about myself. Yes, it is a straight 365 days with no day off. There are even 36 hours duty and duty-previous duty. At first, it was really unusual that I am away from my mother. I spend most my time taking care of other people who are not even my relatives. There are even times that I think why I am entering this. Do I really need to be a doctor? Do I really deserve this? These things would pop out in my mind most of the time I'm grilled during endorsement or being scolded by my seniors. Even my relationship with my groupmates was being challenged. I am totally different and I get easily hurt. I even had countless anxiety attacks during the course of my duty. I even had absences which I didn't even regret. Thank God for giving me strength. I even thought of giving up. I even thought of not enrolling during 2nd semester. Thank God I am still in front of my patients greeting them "Good Morning!", "Kumusta na man mo? (How are you?)" with beautiful smile.

I learned a lot during the first half of my internship. Aside from surgical techniques, in dealing with pediatric patients, in managing dengue, in making genograms, in handling deliveries with episiotomy and repair, in doing VATEF (visual acuity, adnexa, tonometry, extraocular muscles and fundoscopy, I learned more about myself. Even my faith in God was being challenged. I learned that despite all the challenges I faced, God never left me. Even though I was angry to God for the thought He left me, He made all those things for me to be strong. He made me show that I am meant for this profession. Thanks to my mother for her endless patience, who is always at my side. Thanks to my friends whom I shouted on on my darkest days. Thanks even to the residents who told me, "You are strong! You can do it. You are almost there."

I am currently assigned in VSMMC Center for Behavioral Sciences for Psychiatry. I am thankful that I didn't end up being like my patients. Just kidding. Anyway, I am thankful that I am being able to touch the lives of my patients. I understand how they feel. In short, I can imagine if I am in their shoes. It is really my pleasure seeing them smiling with all my greetings despite of being ill.

Well this is my post for now. Thank you so much for reading.

Second Chance

Remember that second chance is not a ticket to commit another mistake. It's a ticket for you to realize your mistake, learn from it and be a better person because that is what your partner deserves.

Last night, since I had no exam to study for, I decided to watch ABS-CBNs "Maalaala Mo Kaya". It's a love story by Karla and Gio portrayed by Bela Padilla and JC Santos. In short, the story goes like this: They're like lovers for 8 years and the guy cheated on the girl then they broke up. The girl got hurt so bad. The guy did everything to win the girl back and to seek her forgiveness and eventually the girl gave him a second chance.

Do cheaters deserve a second chance?

I read some reviews in facebook. I've seen comments like "once a cheater is always a cheater", "if he truly loves her, why did he cheat in the first place", etc. 

Me, to be honest, I am a bit triggered or more or less cranky on that episode. Dahil ba nakarelate ako?

Sort of, yes. This is the first time I mention this on my blog. I had a boyfriend for 2 years. Supposed to be we were sort of happy but he cheated on me. Actually, not the usual cheating like the drama like there's a third party. He made a huge lie to me. The trust was broken and then we broke up. He did efforts to win me back but I became stone-hearted. I made my stand and I never restored our relationship because of the broken trust. Our spark was gone as well.

Back to Gio and Karla's love story, well for me, Karla is not wrong. I think Karla loves Gio so much that she handled to give him a second chance. Any person deserves a second chance whether he is a cheater, a f*ckboy or whatsoever as long as he is already true to his word and will never do the same mistake again. I still believe on change. If you truly love your partner like what Karla does, you have the courage to forgive and rather grant the second chance. But if he cheats again, oh well, there's no such thing as third chance anymore. It means that he is truly a f*ckboy and doesn't deserve you hahahaha. Oh well.

How about me? I obtained no courage to give him the second chance. My feelings are gone already. I believe there's a purpose. Maybe he's not really the one.

Anyway, I love how Bela Padilla and JC Santos portrayed their story. They are indeed great actors.

I got the lead of this post from the real Karla's profile. I was really curious that I searched her profile after watching MMK. Indeed, mistakes are to be learned and to be a better person.

Merry at Cafe Berry

Oh, hello. Finally I have a spare time blogging. Third bimonthly period just commenced and I have nothing to study so far. Horray!
Let me introduce to you a place. A  cozy place to chill and definitely for good vibes.
This is Cafe Berry. ❤

This started around midseptember last 2017 when I was searching for a place to study. I was really desperate that time for the fear of sleeping at home. That was on a sunday and I weren't yet halfway on my readings for the next day's exam because of organization and adulting stuff. Then I discovered this place. This is located outside the seaview wing at SM Seaside City Cebu. Yes, outside. From the mall, you need to pass through the exit near Bon Chon Chicken. This coffee shop is facing the SRP road rather.

The place... oh so awesome and classy with the wooden tables, large bookshelf, comfy chairs and wow, the gold painted pipe. I also love the view of the bay in SRP.  It is also spacious so it's not that obvious if it gets crowded. For me, this is the best place to study rather cram the day before exam. This opens at 8:00 AM and closes at 12:00 AM everyday.
There are variety of drinks and desserts to choose from. My favorites are Green Tea Latte and Cafe Mocha for coffee based drinks. For desserts, oreo snow and mango snow are great and tasty.

For more information visit their facebook page. https://m.facebook.com/cafeberryseaside/

Alisonblue at 10

I took this at La Trinidad, Benguet last June, 2017.

From being a naive high school student to a medical student, this blog is like a collection of footprints of my life. For those who took time to open this, thank you so much! It may be different from the start since I only update this just several times a year. I may be currently busy with my journey to become a physician with a heart but this blog lives on. I want to impart this to my future children. Again, thanks a lot! Cheers!

Ultrasonography linked to Autism?

       Social communication is one of the pearls of the child’s development. Impairment in the ability to engage in social interaction with restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior encompass the hallmark of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). Children with ASD have dilemmas in sharing their thoughts and feelings with others. Delayed language with lack of interest and play are mostly the initial symptoms that are mostly recognized during their second year of life. Autism specific screening are considered to be done at 18 and 24 months of age. During the past few several decades, prevalence of ASD increased rapidly with estimates of 1 in 68 individuals affected. It may be due to heightened awareness and screening and may be in part from historical shifts of diagnostic categories. Currently, ASD is thought to be brought about by set of environmental and genetic contributions. . Advanced maternal and paternal age, closer spacing at pregnancies, premature birth and family members with learning problems, psychiatric disorders and social disability have been identified as risk factors. Genetic causes are to be unveiled. Exposure to toxic environmental factors to the developing fetus is also considered as a risk in ASD and prenatal ultrasonography was proposed.
As the incidence of ASD increased during the past several decades, the use of ultrasonography has increased substantially. Ultrasonography which is mostly started at first trimester of pregnancy is routinely done during prenatal check-ups. Viability, gestational age, number of fetuses and most importantly, the gross fetal abnormalities are being detected by ultrasound. However, despite its benefits, a study by Mcclintic and Webb suggested that ultrasonography  causes alterations in behaviors and disrupts cortical migration during the fetus’ brain development based on animal studies. Ultrasonography consists of pulses of high frequency sound whose backscatter from tissue yields details of the structure of the tissues and movements of blood. It also has the ability to create local increases in temperature which is detrimental in the developing brain at the first trimester.Thus, the brighter the ultrasonography, the higher the ultrasound exposure and the shallower the tissue, the more harm to the fetus.
A case control study of 420 children  was done by Rosman et.al. The study included 107 children with ASD, 104 control individuals with developmental delay and 209 controls with typical development. They were identified from prenatal care medical records and delivery at Boston Medical Center from July 1, 2006 through December 2014 with a gestational age of at least 37 weeks. Data were analyzed from May 1,2015 through November 30,2017. However, authors found out that children with ASD compared with typically developed children had fewer first trimester scans, a later-first trimester scan, lower mean total time of exposure in the first and second trimester, increased mean depth of  ultrasound exposure.
Increased depth of prenatal ultrasonographic presentation may be associated with disturbances in fetal cortical migration and later autism spectrum disorder. However, this correlation deserves yet a further study. Further research is needed to determine whether other variables of ultrasound exposure also have adverse effects to the developing fetus.
However, ultrasonography has the potential to act as an environmental stressor in a genetically vulnerable system. The goal of searching mechanistically valid environmental modifiers of child outcomes remains important especially if the environmental insult deserves to be limited or regulated.  There remains an consistent call for further studies on the safety of diagnostic ultrasonography.

For more information check on this page:  https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapediatrics/fullarticle/2672728


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If I could dance with my father again.

October 13, 2016 - It seemed to be a normal day. I attended a lecture about diabetes in the morning and a Parasitology laboratory session in the afternoon. I had usual chats with my groupmates while waiting for our laboratory manuals to be checked. Suddenly, I received a text from my half sister. It was unusual because my heart pounded while unlocking my phone. Then she told me that my father was in emergency room in a district hospital in Danao. I panicked and went out and the doctor called me that maybe my father could not make it since he came with no blood pressure and pulse. It could be a heart attack. I begged to the Lord to give my father a chance because I really want that he will see me as a doctor. Later then, yeah he left us and my world seemed to be shattered into pieces. That was indeed my worst day so far.

Yes, I cannot see my daddy anymore. The process of healing wasn't that easy. I may look strong in front of others but deep inside, I couldn't describe it. I still continued going to school. I still attended sgd and took exams but while studying, it was really hard for me to focus. No more monthly meet-ups at SM for me to give him his medicines good for one month. 

Thanks to my mother and sister. For now they are my strength. My mother kept on motivating me to do my best and gave me a huge support. I also had my groupmates, Khaleesix which made my days less bearable. As of now, as i thought about my memories with my daddy, it seems that I smile already unlike before which was so painful. Oh, those roadtrips with him are the best. Those good times he sent me to school and fetched me. Those foodtrips especially at the gold course. I still believe that he's still guiding me. As an honor to him, I moved forward with my studies. I will make him proud in heaven. 

To all of you, cherish your time with your loved ones everyday. Say "I love you" to them always. Our lives are not ours, it is borrowed by God. I may had misunderstandings with my dad before but good that I spent best memories with him on his last years and I felt no regret. I guess he is already done with his mission here on earth.

Daddy, I dedicate this passing grade for this school year for you. Wait and you will see me in my doctorate toga.

Jose Real Lawas

1937-2016

 

Med before you (PBL 1 Journey)

My PBL 1 groupmates:
Daisy Sighs/ Selenosixteen/Group 16

Less than a week from now, I unfold another chapter of my Medicine journey. I am officially a 2nd year medical student. I am so delighted to enter another level in my medical studies. I am so excited to learn about diseases, treatment and clinical diagnoses already. Honestly, I am so happy about reading Harrison's and Robbins.

Actually, since entering and all throughout my journey in Cebu Institute of Medicine was really tough. I never thought that I will be accepted by admissions committee. Prior to the review classes before my medical technologists board exam, I heard rumors that getting to CIM requires connection like for an example, if you have any relatives who are alumni there. At first I was discouraged because I do not belong to the family of doctors. I have a doctor cousin but she's from Cebu Doctor's University. I applied in CDU and got accepted but I didn't consider getting there because of the distance from home. It is located in Mandaue and I live in Minglanilla. I am a home person and I don't like living in dormitories. I know it will be convenient but for me I'd rather live in my home because I know it will be uncomfortable. I just applied in CIM and my grades were just my armor. Thankfully, I got accepted. Aside from it is my dream school, I got used in commuting from Minglanilla to Ramos for four years (I am a Velezian Medical Technology Alumna).

The style in CIM is different. It's style is Problem Based Learning. It is different from the Traditional style of learning since it encourages the students to be independent learners. It doesn't rely on lectures like in the Medtech Days. The instructor doesn't spoonfeed us notes either. We are only given a competency as our guide for studying and correlates (like the doctors will discuss few points about the topics). We have small group discussion (SGD). Like we are divided into groups. In SGD, it is like we share what we read and learn about a certain topic with our group mates with a facilitator doctor observing us. It is really different in C.I.M. Even in laboratory works like Anatomy and Histology, we work independently. It is expected that we are ready through our readings prior to entering the laboratory.

We still have mentor-student meetings. It is the way the facilitator doctors are guiding us in the progress of our grades. It is the time wherein we share our own sentiments about studying.

1st year medicine gave me a chance to grow. I learned that grades are not just the mere key to education. Yes, grades guide us to monitor how much we learn. But I realize that studying to get good grades is not only my objective. I must put everything in my head that I am studying for a dream-- My dream to serve others and become a physician with a heart. I know that the things are learn are useful in treating my patients in the future.

Another, through small group discussions, it practices me on how to mingle with different people. God made us with different kinds and degrees of uniqueness. There may be times that we may not agree completely with others plus we cannot please everybody. Plus in the health care setting, we cannot choose our colleagues. We cannot choose like only my friends will ONLY be my workmates. SGDs and group activities made each one of us practice the sense of professionalism. This school year I will have a new set of groupmates. I am not praying that most of my groupmates will be my friends or must agree with me like in terms of attitude. I am praying that I can mingle with them whatever they may be professionally and we can do so with each other.

Studying very (or very very) hard doesn't give an 100% assurance to pass. Some who are studying hard even fail. Yes, God permits. It doesn't mean that failing makes a person weak. Failure in exam is like a notification that there are some things to learn or not stuck into the head. In short, God is training a person to learn more.

Another, rest is still essential. Medicine doesn't really mean that medstudents doesn't really sleep at all to study. I failed in three exams because I was like drunk while taking them but I studied for those exams. I learned that enough sleep like a minimum of five hours for me is needed for my brain to function.

Most of all, getting to medicine must be in own will. It means you are 100% sure that you love medicine. Medicine is like unconditional love. Though there are times it stings, love still remains. Medicine is not an easy game. We are trained to be doctors. We will not face computers, ship or any inanimate objects but HUMANS.

Stay tuned for some updates in my medjourney.. if I have time.