If I could dance with my father again.

October 13, 2016 - It seemed to be a normal day. I attended a lecture about diabetes in the morning and a Parasitology laboratory session in the afternoon. I had usual chats with my groupmates while waiting for our laboratory manuals to be checked. Suddenly, I received a text from my half sister. It was unusual because my heart pounded while unlocking my phone. Then she told me that my father was in emergency room in a district hospital in Danao. I panicked and went out and the doctor called me that maybe my father could not make it since he came with no blood pressure and pulse. It could be a heart attack. I begged to the Lord to give my father a chance because I really want that he will see me as a doctor. Later then, yeah he left us and my world seemed to be shattered into pieces. That was indeed my worst day so far.

Yes, I cannot see my daddy anymore. The process of healing wasn't that easy. I may look strong in front of others but deep inside, I couldn't describe it. I still continued going to school. I still attended sgd and took exams but while studying, it was really hard for me to focus. No more monthly meet-ups at SM for me to give him his medicines good for one month. 

Thanks to my mother and sister. For now they are my strength. My mother kept on motivating me to do my best and gave me a huge support. I also had my groupmates, Khaleesix which made my days less bearable. As of now, as i thought about my memories with my daddy, it seems that I smile already unlike before which was so painful. Oh, those roadtrips with him are the best. Those good times he sent me to school and fetched me. Those foodtrips especially at the gold course. I still believe that he's still guiding me. As an honor to him, I moved forward with my studies. I will make him proud in heaven. 

To all of you, cherish your time with your loved ones everyday. Say "I love you" to them always. Our lives are not ours, it is borrowed by God. I may had misunderstandings with my dad before but good that I spent best memories with him on his last years and I felt no regret. I guess he is already done with his mission here on earth.

Daddy, I dedicate this passing grade for this school year for you. Wait and you will see me in my doctorate toga.

Jose Real Lawas

1937-2016